My Personal solid body enlightenment.

I Am is True reality

I Am is True reality. But Individual state of ‘I am’ – is illusion

As for example a man is sitting in the room and gathering an apple from molecules in space (by power of thought). Here it is almost gathered, pulsing. Here telephone calls and the man shifts his attention to the telephone and the apple disappears at once.

So do Individualized state of ‘I am’. While I am in the centre of this Individualized state of ‘I am’ – I don’t feel I AM.

There is nothing but “I AM”.

I understood that in time of the first experience “I AM” looked at Individualized state of “I am”. And in this case Individualized state of “I am” is looking at self-feeling “I AM”. I’m trying to understand how to deepen into I AM so much. (transmutation diAry http://transmutatebody.livejournal.com/  )

 

There is no greater predestination then to Be “I AM”.
There is nothing but “I AM”.

 

Birth is a key to Liberation!

The Feelings and Body* – are the easiest and simplest way to Liberation.

It’s impossible to feel the Energy in space and matter by thoughts or emotions … but Feelings!!!
And feelings are possible while there is the Body. Body – is a key to everything. Now I understand those gurus who says: Birth is a key to Liberation!

 

 

I AM Everything within and beyond time!

Every part of you flames with bright light. 
You – are the world without boundaries and limits.
You are Me, there is nothing bigger beyond all things.
You are Me, there is nothing to be changed.


You – are milliards of the Sunlights.
I am - the Sunlights’ nuclear.
The real fool,
Who divides and integrates all to One!


There are neither you, nor world nor me.
I AM Everything within and beyond time!
( Allayae)

(Bloody wisdom from Allayae) .... ahhaahha

The individualized state of “I AM” considers itself the character in which “I AM” plays.
The character doesn’t exist. As the shadow on the wall is just the reflection of a real hand. ( bloody wisdom... ahhaahha)))))

  It`s like a little child is shown a farfetched bear or cat with a glove. The glove is an Individualized state of “I AM” that considers itself as a Bear or a cat, a human being etc… but in fact the Hand rules (I Am).

 

(Bloody wisdom from Allayae)

Merry-go-round of characters.

Merry-go-round  of characters. 

I seldom write about this part of  my life. Many enlightened persons  talk and write about it.  Since  my enlightenment has come ( I do not like this word. I like to call it The Oneness) the peace fulfilled my entire life. Not only my mind, but body within.

    I was  born remembering  HOME ( the Source) and  with strong awareness  that  We are the ONE. I was talking with  Universe all the time. See the Invisibles)))  I was  experienced the Oneness  by  inner energy body since  childhood and earlier. My solid body was against this experience of the Oneness. It experienced pain and violence ( my  father’s beating). Me as a consciousness experienced Oneness and  Unconditional love. Because  of this dual and  opposite experiences my life  became a  nightmare. I couldn’t understand why others so cruel and behaved  like we were enemy. 

I was dreaming to turn my body into Light to come back HOME! Since  I was 13 years old, I practiced different  ways of  self-understanding. At 26 I gave  up. My body refused to work properly. I got Autism syndrome since I remember myself, but only at 21  I  understood  how it`s called. I couldn`t look straight into eyes of people.  Loud and rhythmic sounds  turned me into autoaggression, making my body go through some kind of epileptic attacks. It was really hard to live like this. There always were  attacks of dissociation.

I gave  up and told to the Universe:

-I will stop eating until my body comes to Light matter. I have  no strength  to live. I give up!

In forty minutes after I had manifested my promise, the Enlightenment for my Body came into my life.

From my Diary http://transmutatebody.livejournal.com/ :

“…__

The moment came when I felt like the plug in my anus had fallen out. And I felt that my self-awareness dropped down deeply into the Body of the Whole “WORLD”.
Just try to imagine: The WORLD has its own Body!!! And you are out of your body like a matryoshka, falling into deeper body –world`s body. Then you understand that it is YOUR body!
- Oh, God! THIS IS MY BODY and IT`s HUGE!!

It is impossible to put this experience into words and thoughts, even the images are useless. You need to live it within your body.

Then I felt that my body will die, but I AM! My body is the world .. went deeper .. the world is destroyed, and I still Am! (Sense of self-embracing that pervades everything and more..) . My body is the Universe .. and went deeper .. and included awareness of the “I AM”. I transmitted the sense of self awareness into sense of self identity, trying to get self- consciousness.

Then I went deeper into awareness of that part of myself which was being experienced it. I realized  that Everything would collapses and  I would aware myself as a TRUE Self. At that exact moment all boundaries (desire to live and losing Leslav, “what about me?”)  turned on. And I thought : “I do not have  to live and create all I am creating everyday for  the People, because  They are Me, do I have to?”
I began to let go of it and  gave  myself feeling that  I  was ready to go HOME. I was ready to collapse everything as  I didn’t  lose anything at all.

All this is going to die, to be destroyed but I AM still here. I was born within this knowledge. But  now I experienced it deeply with my body. This  very strong feeling  was fixed in me. Not  in my body, but in ME-e-e-e ( In  my Self-awareness as I AM) !!!! I ever disappeared anywhere. I will always be here. Because I AM. I just exist as  the presence of “I AM” ,with no beginning, middle and end!

 I picked up a large pink Agate and came out of my little body into the huge body of the World and entered the body of the Stone. It was incredible .. I squeezed myself with my own hands!

 Yes, it was the Oneness!!! I experienced physically  to be myself as the stone and  the hands of my body exact the same time. It is extremely unbelievable. Those few seconds of the Oneness  changed    everything in me!  _.....”

And now my life is fulfilled with indescribable peace within mind and body. I know and experience everyday  life as imaginary life. It  is like, I has considered  this reality to be  REAL… ha-haah… ))) I try to do  my stuff with serious perception, but it is useless.  For this year and a  half after “the Oneness” I do not know more pleasurable thing that sitting on the beach, looking  at  the waves and people and… just to BE!

just to BE!

now my life is fulfilled with indescribable peace within mind and body. I know and experience everyday life as imaginary life. It is like, I has considered this reality to be REAL… ha-haah… ))) I try to do my stuff with serious perception, but it is useless. For this year and a half after “the Oneness” I do not know more pleasurable thing that sitting on the beach, looking at the waves and people and… just to BE!

 

 

Quest for Myself by Marat Shayzhanov

 Life is about you. That's the conclusion I've made while analizing my life.

Four months ago I had to make a choice whether I want to live a life full of depressions, jealousy, hatred and contempt or I want to make a change. I didn't understand why everything I wanted was just to stay at home, close myself from the others and watch TV series. I had blamed myself for this laziness and apathy but couldn't do anything with it.

I knew that having finished my university studies I had to find a job. I was trying to do that but it just didn't work out. Yeah, I have to confess that I was not trying as hard as I proubably could because I just didn't have any willingness to work. First, I could not imagine myself working somewhere spending the whole day on doing something for someone. Second, my education didn't let me work in some companies and position in governmental structures is poorly paid.

I concentrated myself on spiritiual search as I was always interested in this. Everything unknown attracted me a lot. Yeah, how can you concentrate on job if everything you are thinking about was spirits, soul, God, saints, energies, aura, reincarnation, destiny, self-development, the Deity, ancient beliefs, Providence, Invisible things, the planet, vegetarianism, magic and so on. I was always sure that there is a God, but not that one portrayed in religion. I was born in atheistic country, relatives on my mom's side were muslim but I was raised in orthodox surroundings. So, I had an image of both gods. And it just didn't suit me. Later, I read about other christian brenches and other religions. And my inner feeling always told me that there is only one God.

So, 6 months ago I had been doing some practices (meditation, yoga, etc.) for two months(which amazed me because I'm lazy), I read some articles and books about it. Mostly Indian and esoteric. Emm, I didn't understand much though. Later, I found out about the idea of Enlightment. I just felt the need to get it. I began to look for people who would already have this thing. Finally, I found. They were talking about humans as parts of something One (Absolut, Supreme, etc.). However, I had always had a feeling that there is somethig missing in their talkings and they were repeating the same quotes of famous spiritiual Teachers which I didn't understand and their life seemed to be so boring. Honestly. 'You are more then just your body', 'be youself', 'there is a great Love', 'you are not what you think you are', 'love everyone', 'appreciate whatever it is there to appreciate'. BLA-BLA-BLA. Ok, fine! Gonna do it... the question is HOW?

Then I found videos of a girl who was talkng about all the things that I'd been interested in and at the same time she was alive. I mean she was full of emotions, happy and she used simple words to explain those things. She somehow combined everything I believed in with an emphasis on day-to-day life, joy, love and everything-lies-within-you thing. We had chatted on the internet until I realized that I'd like to meet in real life. One day, we agreed on me coming to visit her and I immediately packed my stuff and took train from St.Petersburg to Odessa, where she lived.

She was developing her own let's call it science which she named as Alchemy of Neyrons or shrotly Alneiro. It's aimed at understanding yourself, your own wishes, dreams, feelings, thoughts, life experience and views. As I said she was and still is developing this method of discovering yourself, but she needed someone from outside world (someone apart from her parents and ex-boyfriend) to try this on. I was ready for this experiment and so we started to work.

Wow, it was a really taugh time. I've never cried and laughed so much in my entire life. I've experienced immense Tenderness towards everyone and everything, raising of Kundalini (feels really hot sometimes), thought stopping, groundless happiness and joy and other things which normally I wouldn't be able to explain. Moreover, I was able to finally separate what I really wanted from myself and what parents, other people or society wanted from me. Nonetheless, the most impressive thing in this experience was that she was doing nothing but asking me questions about myself... Ok, twice she did as she puts it 'direct transfer', when she held my hand and directly transfered her experience and Power of the Source (term which I'm going to ponder on later).

The main idea is to begin to love yourself in any of your states and faces. And love commences from appreciating yourself through bodily generation of the feeling of Gratitude which is easy (and it's a very important part coz I'm lazy), i.e. appreciation which comes from real feeling and not just words. I discovered that once you start doing this when you have periods of depression or other negative feelings and you ask yourself why those feelings occur to you, you start to understand the reason for this 'negative' states.

I've never been so sincere with anyone. I told her everything about me even those things I was not proud of at all and everything I wanted is just to forget about them. I talked about my relationships with parents, friends, boyfriends and girlfriends, my thoughts on different life matters, my feelings of hatred, contempt, jealousy and dissatisfaction with life. And the most unbelievable thing here was that I've never encountered any judgement from her. Never. Her power to understand any behaviour of mine was incredible. At the same time, she never let me cross her own personal boundaries and she never positioned herself as a good, understanding person who is there to understand you and help you ('I'm not your friend she had said'). On the contrary, she wanted me to start doing this. She wanted me to start giving support and understanding to me by myself. And it was truely amazing! Because for the first time in my life I met a person who was really interested in what I have inside me and didn't try to recommend or command what on her or his opinion I should do. She kept saying 'use your own brains and body, those are your main instruments. No other person will ever understand you as much as you can do it'.

And so I did it and I began not to seek support in others but give it to myself. I've been trying to listen to me all the time trying to understand what I feel and why. I've been asking questions to myself why do I want this, and why I don't want that, why do I feel this and what would I like to feel. I've learned to extract joy, happiness and good mood from within rather than to wait it from other people, special situations or special substances (well, that's drinks, drugs and so on). I've discovered that emotinal and physical pain I've had are the best teachers and now I'm trying to undertand those ghosts of the past because they are nothing more than lessons which I decided to 'skip' concentrating on closing myself from suffer and fearing it, whereas now It seems more reasonable to understand all that pain so that it gave me Strength than fear. Now I can see that my life is not about some sequence of god-only-knows-how-it-happened events but it is full of meaning in every situation. And I see my past as a bunch of unsolved puzzles now, big parts of the picture I've already solved and the rest is becoming more and more interesting because solving them means constructing yourslef from within with an aim to be a genuinely dignified, loving and compassionate human being I've always wanted to be.

So that's how my Quest for Myself started. http://www.facebook.com/marat.shayzhanov

__________***
Hi-hih ... I am that  girl he has written about)))

02 08 2011word “Unsigned”

It is  so strange in some way.  I do this video in English as  I did it in Russian. And  I should  every time   ask myself: Do I have to do it? So I need to understand Why I do it.

I do it for myself to express  all that  I came to with Enlightenment. I do it for Universe , making more puzzles  for people. If  I  do not  write  and  make videos   I will sit at the beach for all my life till death.

Can I just sit  without moving at the street and die?Jjust die , because I know who I am and I want to be the wind, oceans and trees. I AM ALL of IT!!! But I want my body to change its matter. Because everything else  with  social life is senseless.  Even words are senseless.  Only being  MYSELF… but matter of body cannot transfer all that ONENESS… COMPLETENESS and… do not know how to call it. Maybe … ETERNITY…   OH!!!! I know…  word “Unsigned”

You just choose it.

I tried to make my boyfriend laugh and  to show him  that the feeling  of happiness is unconditional.  To be honest, it is unconditional for a human  to choose whether to be  happy or to stay in misery. You  just choose it.

Article : Dream… it’s a Song of Everlasting Creator in your Heart.

http://awaraness.livejournal.com/

 

Dre-e-am… what on Earth is that?
Dream is the Song of Everlasting Creator in your Heart.

All genius and Masters, who is  noted in history and well-known by the entire world, whose  Force is acknowledged with admiration  by millions and millions of beings – they all had  been making  efforts to accomplish their Dream. Efforts  of all the 1000 percents – not  less than one THOUSAND… and even more!!!
Without DREAM  the  meaning of your life  is  forever lost , faded away…. Is  burned   out  to ashes by the grey sadness of another meaningless death.
Something  you’re going to die for, but not to betray yourself! DREAM! Ever ! Because betraying  the Dream equals dying in a body that’s still Alive, when the heart runs empty, there are no more sparkles in the eyes, and hands hang loose.
You can’t overestimate the FLAMING HEART of a being  who is  breathing  with Dream every moment!

Dream is something that creates meaning  for every exhalation and inhalation. Is your life  still  filled with pressure and grief? Depression and pain? Where is your Dream? What were you dreaming of as a child? What kind of magic has Your Heart been  filled with?

True Force comes from the Heart… right from where your Dream resides!!

Dream…
…, when you’re faced with a choice to either betray your Dream, to do something that goes against the CALL OF YOUR HEART… THE SONG OF ETERNITY in YOU, or to die… you choose death with a smile, because your DREAM doesn’t die in you – it brings you into a new LIFE!

The Dream is always, you see, ALWAYS beyond possibilities for ordinary people… it doesn’t matter what it is, but that’s the ETERNITY  singing  in Your* Heart about the Endlessness of Life, about the Boundlessness of the possibilities – about the FORCE that lets you BLAZE in the fire of Delight and Inspiration!!
Stop believing in your Dream .. KNOW you can do it!!!