Merry-go-round of characters.
I seldom write about this part of
my life. Many enlightened persons
talk and write about it.
Since my enlightenment has come (
I do not like this word. I like to call it The Oneness) the peace fulfilled my
entire life. Not only my mind, but body within.
I was born remembering HOME ( the Source) and with strong awareness that
We are the ONE. I was talking with
Universe all the time. See the Invisibles))) I was experienced the Oneness by
inner energy body since childhood
and earlier. My solid body was against this experience of the Oneness. It
experienced pain and violence ( my father’s
beating). Me as a consciousness experienced Oneness and Unconditional love. Because of this dual and opposite experiences my life became a
nightmare. I couldn’t understand why others so cruel and behaved like we were enemy.
I was dreaming to turn my body into Light to come back HOME! Since I was 13 years old, I practiced different ways of
self-understanding. At 26 I gave
up. My body refused to work properly. I got Autism syndrome since I
remember myself, but only at 21 I understood
how it`s called. I couldn`t look straight into eyes of people. Loud and rhythmic sounds turned me into autoaggression, making my body
go through some kind of epileptic attacks. It was really hard to live like
this. There always were attacks of dissociation.
I gave up and told to the Universe:
-I will stop eating until my body comes to Light matter. I have no strength
to live. I give up!
In forty minutes after I had manifested my promise, the Enlightenment for
my Body came into my life.
“…__
The
moment came when I felt like the plug in my anus had fallen out. And I felt
that my self-awareness dropped down deeply into the Body of the Whole “WORLD”.
Just try to imagine: The WORLD has its own Body!!! And you are out of your body
like a matryoshka, falling into deeper body –world`s body. Then you understand
that it is YOUR body!
- Oh, God! THIS IS MY BODY and IT`s HUGE!!
It is impossible to put this experience into words and thoughts, even the
images are useless. You need to live it within your body.
Then I
felt that my body will die, but I AM! My body is the world .. went deeper ..
the world is destroyed, and I still Am! (Sense of self-embracing that pervades
everything and more..) . My body is the Universe .. and went deeper .. and
included awareness of the “I AM”. I transmitted the sense of self awareness
into sense of self identity, trying to get self- consciousness.
Then I went
deeper into awareness of that part of myself which was being experienced it. I
realized that Everything would collapses and I would aware myself
as a TRUE Self. At that exact moment all boundaries (desire to live and losing
Leslav, “what about me?”) turned on. And I thought : “I do not have
to live and create all I am creating everyday for the People,
because They are Me, do I have to?”
I began to
let go of it and gave myself feeling that I was ready
to go HOME. I was ready to collapse everything as I didn’t lose
anything at all.
All this is
going to die, to be destroyed but I AM still here. I was born within this
knowledge. But now I experienced it deeply with my body. This very strong
feeling was fixed in me. Not in my body, but in ME-e-e-e ( In
my Self-awareness as I AM) !!!! I ever disappeared anywhere. I will always be
here. Because I AM. I just exist as the presence of “I AM” ,with no
beginning, middle and end!
I picked
up a large pink Agate and came out of my little body into the huge body of the
World and entered the body of the Stone. It was incredible .. I squeezed myself
with my own hands!
Yes,
it was the Oneness!!! I experienced physically to be myself as the stone
and the hands of my body exact the same time. It is extremely
unbelievable. Those few seconds of the Oneness changed
everything in me! _.....”
And now my life is fulfilled with indescribable peace within mind and
body. I know and experience everyday
life as imaginary life. It is
like, I has considered this reality to
be REAL… ha-haah… ))) I try to do my stuff with serious perception, but it is useless. For this year and a half after “the Oneness” I do not know more pleasurable
thing that sitting on the beach, looking at the
waves and people and… just to BE!